Missy reads her mummy

This morning, before going to school, i will usually make sure Missy poo so that she wont mess up in school and can leave her butt dry.

Today, after we brush teeth, she pee and i ask her whether she wanna sit on the potty to poo. she said "dont' want, no poo poo" so, i thought ok la, maybe she really dun have anything to poo yet. maybe go to school then poo.

But, after we change into her school uniform and im about to feed her vitamin C, she give me this look, the "Pang sai" look, i then ask her again " If wanna poo poo, please go to toilet, dun soil your diaper, i just change ok" she keep in silence, then i ask her again " wanna go poo poo ? go toilet ?" she said "no"
.I think im not being proactiv.. i just let her be while im calling her to come over to take her vitamin..

true enough.. she just stand there , stone. i knew it. she poo le. ARRRRGgggg.. din she listen to what i just asked her just now ? i ask few times .. again, i feel my anger is rushing.. but i keep cool, ask maid to clean her up. then i tell her.. "din i just tell u to go toilet if wanna poo ? i just said it, and you just poo it right there.. ok fine," i then go into study room.

Missy tell maid that "Mummy is angry" .. i heard from study room. Maid said "yes, you go toilet to poo poo".. then aftr she is being washed, she walk to my study room, standing outside the door, i then close the door. she cry immediately.. mm.. im thinking, gees.. why did i do that ? im so rude hor..then maid bring her to change.

After she is done, still with tears.. she then came to me, try to approach me. i ask her if she want to take her vitamin C, she nod. Then, we are about to go to school while wearing her shoes, she keep looking at me, i did not look at her. She then said " sorry mummy"... geees.. my heart melted.. so i said "come here, give me one hug" she came rushing to me and hug me.. i told her again "poo poo must go toilet ok ".. she then said "ok"

My girl is growing up didn't she ? she knows when im angry and she knows how to "dissolve" my anger.. sigh.. i think good and bad ? good is that she knows when she did something her mummy dun like her mummy will angry. bad is that why her mummy always angry ? will she be like that too nxt time ?

Tell me what to do.. im handling a small little human being that is ready to be mould into something she will pick up and learn quick from where she grows up.

sometimes i think my bad temper is from my mum, she too has very bad temper.. i always she her scolding us and my father during schooling time.. cos she always complaint we did not help up at home. But, still she has never fail to prepare our daily needs and 3 meals.. i guess just a way to vent all her frustration from work and life and three kids.

really not easy to be a good mummy. but i guess i'll just play it cool. try to adjust and improve as each day comes. challenging duty. i still think working is easier.. haaaa..