Emotion control

I've been feeling bad recently for being an angry employer..yeas.. employer.. cos one or two days.. i will be "lecturing" my maid.. i will control her food.. i will keep pointing out her mistakes.. things she never do or things she cant do well to my liking...

i feel tired and irritated with my new role.. why do i have to make myself so emotionally taxing with maid.. home suppose to be a place for me to rest my mind/body and feel serene and peaceful.. but i will come back home and feel agitated with things she failed to perform up to my satisfaction.. even many times i corrected her.. still she cant do it right or simply never carry it out..

i have to control her food as she eats like bull. one big loaf of bread , hubby+I eat for 3-4 days.. she alone 3 days all gone.. the bread spread 4 days 1/2 bottle.. we take nearly a month to finish one bottle.. she eats two big bowl of rice for lunch.. we gave her so many tins of cookies during cny.. she finished over a weekends...but we never even see when she eats it.. so we guess when we go out, she is busy eating...

so now, i control her food.. by portion it by days.. i have to tell her one bottle of bread spread for few weeks.. 3 pieces of bread for breakfast + 3in1 drink. she eats whatever we eat for dinner, so lunch she will either cook her own noddles or fry the left over rice.. i bought fish for her, but she prefers sausages.. she can finish 3 packs of sausages in 2 weeks or lesser.. but the selar fish few weeks still in freezer.. shake head..give her ice cream.. one head turn.. you see only the stick in the dustbin..

so scary .. but when she work.. really cannot compare with the speed she finish her food. 3 clothes or 6 cloths.. she will takes more than 1 hour to iron.. wash my room , scrub or no scrub will take minimum 45 mins.. slow motion.. one day fold dunno how many times of clothes.. walk up n donw dunno wat she is doing.. act busy..

phew... okok.. i got to control.. no point getting irritated by this.. there are many more important things to care abt. Jen was telling me.. dun expect them to deal things with the same level of IQ as we are.. they just dun get it or pretend not to get it.. cos if they understand moe means more work.. so act blur or 'bodoh' the best.. then no need do more..

i shall see how long will i bear with this maid this time..i dun send her back cos she seems scared whenever i tell her, "if u continue to work like this, i wanna send you back" she will said mum, don't.. i pity her cos i think maybe she needs money.. tat's why she came here in the first place.. but why cant she be serious .. do a better job for me ? then i happy she also happy ? i feel like keeping her becoem a burden to me..

maybe im still haven learn enough to deal with maid or to live with them ?i wonder how come some people can be so friendly with their maid.. geess..